Incorrect Lord of the Rings Quotes
Y’all want to see something wild?
I hate to interrupt y'all scrolling, but...
The other ads these guys have done are also hilarious.
Oof....this hurts so good.
Under sea ecosystems are bullshit.
Like imagine you're a little rabbit and you go to nibble on a tree sapling but as soon as you go to take a bite it takes off like a fucking helicopter and disappears over the horizon.
Then, before you can process what just happened, the entire patch of grass you were standing on turns out to be a fox who had turned itself inside out and you die.
are you okay do you need to talk about it
Look I'm just saying I'm glad I exist in a place and scale where the main form of getting dead is just something trying to make your blood fall out.
I couldn't handle being a crab. I would register a formal complaint but crabs can't write.
favorite part of the witcher is seeing all these self-identified heterosexual men on twitter thirsting over henry cavill. put henry cavill in tight leather pants and suddenly a lot of men are learning something about themselves
stop leaving the best parts in the tags
Sliding fuckability scale:
1. Henry Cavill as Superman. Very Good and clean. Utterly unfuckable.
2. Henry Cavill as cold war era spy in Man From U.N.C.L.E. Less morally upstanding, quite clean. Attractive but not sexy.
3. Henry Cavill as a CIA Assassin Mission Impossible. Kills people, some scruff but still groomed. Fuckable.
4. Henry Cavill as Geralt. Morally grey, absolutely filthy. Peak Fuckablity.
I’m honestly not even surprised by this revelation
I remember this other thread where someone described him as “whatever the opposite of ‘he cleans up well’ is”.
He scruffs up nicely!
He scruffs up nicely
We Are Human
I can’t fucking breathe. It’s fucking awful. I knew it was coming, but even that can’t prepare you for how awful it feels. Well it’s come to my attention that I’m quite the stupid child. Borne with what seems to be a heart that yearns for love. However, I know that this is -my- fault. However, my stupidity can be fixed. I can learn from this experience, and perhaps, now that I am older, wiser, and a wee bit calmer, I can learn from this.
So instead of getting mad at myself, and cursing my heart for being so easily swayed – I should step back and look at the view a little differently. I knew it was coming. It’s so funny, perhaps that’s why I responded the way I did. You told me that you loved me and I laughed. Since our conversation was during a time that we were talking via text – I suppose that is why you missed this laugh. That is why you never heard it. But I scoffed.
I knew you were lying this time. I think this is the first time I’ve actually read the lie as you wrote it, and didn’t glamourize your “I love you”. I used to hear these words, and my breath froze and my heart skipped a beat. It meant so much to me when you said it. I thought my heart would explode. But now that I’m older, I find myself realizing that “I love you” can be a weapon. And your precision with these words, where once effective have fallen by the wayside. I had fallen every time. But here in the memory of your scent, your touch, your words, that gaze –
It’s like I woke up.
And you, the you I thought I knew, thought I loved – you haven’t existed for a long time. You were once a man I wrote poetry and stories of, but now I see you differently. You are no longer this omnipotent individual who’s words I could’ve lived by – but a human being. And in this moment of humanizing you, I’ve come to realize that you are subject to human flaws and characteristics. Like lying to get what you want, and you are full of errors. You are beautiful. I don’t question that I love you. I know I do. But I need to love myself more.
You are selfish, and you are broken. You are lonely, and you are … unwhole. You are looking for answers like many of us are –
And you are human.
I would usually throw myself around and berate my own reactions. Wondering how I could fall for someone who would lie so easily to someone they ‘loved’. What had I done to deserve your betrayal yet again?
Only this time I didn’t. I saw you as you were. Pathetic and human and broken. It’s actually quite nice to see you as you are. I think it’s for the first time, really. And still, you are beautiful to me. Just as you are.
But I am fucking wonderful. And people love me. Just as myself. Just for myself. Just as is. And they don’t feel the need to lie to me to garner my love and affection. And if I have learned anything from this – it is that I love myself.
More than I love/d you.
And I won’t sacrifice myself for you again. I deserve more. From others, and from myself. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt. It hurts like fire with every hitched, sobbing breath. And yes, I’ve spent the afternoon crying, and feeling broken. But as you, I am human.
And we err.
I have recognized my error, and I will love myself more, for having learned from this pain.
But I have learned.
having someone moan your name while you make them cum is peak intimacy
i just want a partner who can recite literature to me while drinking wine but is also able to smash me against the wall while choking me gently, is it too much to ask?
terzei